What is it about math that gives it so much power…
- To make kids feel inadequate and insecure about themselves,
- To cause wounds to self-worth so big that the debilitating effect of it lasts into adulthood, and
- To put parents and kids at odds with each other until they don’t even like each other anymore.
Woah, that is a lot of power.
Being in the business of solving these precise math problems (oh yeah, and the kids will learn their times tables and division facts like nobody’s business) puts us in a unique position to hear an endless supply of stories.
All people have to do is hear briefly what we’re up to and they’re eager to tell us their own “math trauma” story, quite often accompanied with some very deep emotion.
You may feel alone in how much it affected you or how worried you are about the situation with your child but we can tell you that this math trauma affects more people than you can even imagine.
Why-oh-why have we ignored this problem as a society for so long when so much damage is being done?
It makes us just that much more thrilled to be exactly where we are, doing exactly what we’re doing.
Has your child ever pushed away from the table in tears? Refused to even try? Said ‘I’m just dumb at math’ — and meant it? You’re not alone. And it’s not what you think.
The Three Types of Math Trauma
Type #1: The Insecurity That Creates "Dumb" Labels
The subject of math is a hotbed for labels. I happened to be categorized as one of the “smart” kids simply because I did well at math. I saw a lot of the trauma around me but I didn’t relate to it—that is, not until I was in college taking a French class.
The teaching style here was different and suddenly I was one of the “dumb” ones. I was so confused at first (wait a minute, I’m supposed to be smart!), then I felt sad that I couldn’t keep up with everyone (What is wrong with me? Am I stupid or something?), then I got angry (There is no way even possible, no matter how hard I try, for me to keep up!).
I remember folding my arms and sliding down in my chair and though I was still in the room, simply checking out of the class. I felt ashamed of myself, mad at the students who were doing well, and hateful at my teacher for…I don’t know, existing!
Then I remembered. I thought back on the body language of those kids growing up who didn’t do well at school (as I said, math seemed to be the biggest determiner of that); their bodies and faces looked just like mine did right then! I related only now to the feelings they had to go through and my heart poured out to every single one of them!
It is NO FUN TO FEEL DUMB!
Type #2: The Lasting Effect of Negative Labels
In my quest to help all people recognize and feel their worth, I began to notice something interesting. It started with a friend of mine whom I thought was just brilliant—so creative and so organized and just chock full of talent. But she made a lot of comments about how she wasn’t very “smart” or “quick” or that she was a “slow learner.”
This made absolutely no sense to me! I could see no evidence of this whatsoever. Finally, I asked her, “Why in the world do you believe you’re not smart? Where does this feeling come from?”
It turned out that she “didn’t do very well in school”…and added, “well, mostly in math.”
Then I began to notice this more and more. The root source of a lack of belief in self FAR TOO OFTEN stems from the early math experience.
Sometimes the “I’m not smart” label is self-imposed just from the way math makes the child feel; other times, it’s a fellow student, and more often a teacher that said something that got stuck in the child’s psyche making them doubt their abilities from that time on. (GRRRR!)
Here’s a message we got from a gentleman, now a grandpa, who saw our system online:
“I was one of the dumb kids when it came to math. I can completely relate to what you are describing. It took me years to realize that I loved to learn and I was a lot smarter than I ever thought I was! I got all choked up when I saw your program this morning! God bless you and the MathHacked Girls!”
~Ben Smith, Grandpa
One woman who came up to us at a vendor table after a homeschool conference said she had a form of PTSD [Post-traumatic stress disorder] due to her early math experience. We laughed but she didn’t laugh with us; she was dead serious. She was willing to do just about anything to save her kids from going through the math trauma that she experienced. In fact, this was the main reason she had chosen to homeschool her children!
If your child is currently dealing with an “I’m not smart” label because of math, something should be done to correct that false label or it will last a lifetime. And there is something that can be done about it—it takes only about 15 minutes a day.
Type #3: The Relationship Trauma
One day, my daughter’s friend came to our house and saw that our big patio window had graphs and arrows written all over it with dry erase markers. This was from a day of brainstorming with my sister (and business partner) about our MathHacked business. Naturally, he was curious what we were up to. When he heard a few minutes of explanation of what our business was and that our aim was to help kids maintain a sense of self-worth throughout their math education, he was instantly enthusiastic and supportive.
His very next comment was (pointing his hands downward like a wedge): “Math was the WEDGE that drove my dad and me apart.” He said he never did regain a good relationship with his dad; this was the beginning of a downward spiral that had never fully recovered.
This is another common story. The problem with math is that it isn’t just about math; it’s about how the heck do you get kids to do what you want them to do that they don’t want to do? (The answer to this question is found in no math book I’ve ever heard about.)
Even if parents know the math well enough to help, they can feel at a loss as to how to motivate the little buggers to DO the math!
The Irony That Breaks My Heart
You know, it’s funny; the whole reason we make our kids do their math homework is so they can:
– Get competent and feel smart in math
– Feel smart generally
– Become an educational success
– Become a financial success
– Have lives with less stress
– Making it easier to be “happy at home” with their families
That’s the end result we’re after!
And yet, our well-meaning efforts with math often leave our kids:
– Feeling dumb and angry at us for making them do it
– So we try to use our parental authority to make it happen
– So they blame us and we become the bad guy
– Which feels unfair because we are only trying to help
– Which unfairness adds to our negative feelings
– And all this makes us feel unhappy at home!
Hm…something is wrong with this picture.
And here’s the thing we want every parent to hear: it’s not your fault. It’s not your child’s fault either. The design of traditional math education is what’s broken—not your family.
There's a Better Way
After 30 years of watching this play out in classrooms and homes, we became convinced there had to be a better way. There is.
Our confidence-first learning style—which you get to “try on for size” through the MathHacked system—takes care of that attitude for you. It removes resistance. It unleashes creativity and self-worth and the hidden brilliance that they normally reserve for their computer games or other things they love doing.
With the right educational design and an effective teaching style in place (neither of which are found in any math curriculum, by the way), your child will show no resistance from the very first moments of the training. In fact, they’ll likely be bummed out when it’s over.
So far, we’ve had universal success in seeing each and every child feel smart at math using our system.
Same parent, same kid—you’ll get results you’ll LOVE. And you and your child will be HAPPY AT HOME.
If any of this resonated with you, we’d love to show you what’s possible. Click below to try MathHacked risk-free — same parent, same kid, different results.
Learn more about how MathHacked prevents and heals math trauma HERE.
About the Author
Heather Linchenko
Heather Linchenko is the co-founder of MathHacked. She first developed her confidence-first approach for her own daughter, who was completely shut down in math — and when she brought it into a classroom of 1st through 3rd graders, every single child opted in with gusto. That was the moment she knew she had something. For the past 30 years, she’s felt nothing but joy bringing that same light to families everywhere. She lives in Idaho with her family and still gets a little teary when she sees kids discover they’re smart.
